American Cancer Society to Honor John Thiel of Merrill Lynch
We live in an era when many are quick to condemn and ridicule glamorous aspects of philanthropic events in this town to perpetuate the notion that societal elite are oblivious to the times that we live in and the challenges facing the every man. Despite a focus on financial industry miscues, among the greater minds at large in the business and financial services community, there is in fact a very real sense of the interconnectedness of our lives.
The Financial Services Cares Gala to Benefit the American Cancer Society
When I finally met with Thiel, he played down the significance of the award personally, emphasizing instead the significance of the night, “the spotlight is on New York, and the financial services community is all here.” Expected to be in attendance are many of Thiel’s industry competitors. I wondered frankly what he thought of this, would there be tension? Despite the competition, Thiel emphasized that there is mutual respect among and for many in the industry, “it’s one night to put the gloves away and rally for the American Cancer Society.”
Thiel has arrived at his station in life through discipline, principled hard work, long term planning, centered on the fundamentals, which has given the man a strong long game not just in the investment game but in life. Thiel has lived and worked through professionally, the lessons of the economic downturns of the early 90’s, the tech bubble and the most recent financial crisis, only to emerge stronger and more well regarded in the industry and by his peers. He arrived in a post 9/11 New York City, in 2005 during a period of tremendous upheaval and uncertainty at a time we were still licking our wounds and trying to move forward, before we were rocked once again by the financial collapse of 2008. Where many others pursue pipe dreams and engage in wishful thinking in boom times, hoping only to be lucky, Thiel’s approach perhaps emanates from his years in public accounting and the memory of what it was like to be broke and to have to map pursuit of the American Dream from Ground Zero. He gets it and what the every man feels.
BULLISH ON: John Thiel’s Philanthropic Commitment
Sitting in the chief’s World Financial Center offices on a bright sunny day with the Statue of Liberty in the distance and the rising World Trade Center to his back, the revitalization of Lower Manhattan in full bloom, I found it hard not to be bullish on Mr. Thiel and Merrill Lynch. John Thiel is a centered and principled gentleman with a steady view of the world, a genuinely warm and engaging demeanor and a sincere humility that evidences the core of his character. Frankly, he is a man better than his resume or the simple summary of his life accomplishments, one who glossed over rather humbly his Horatio Algerlike background to focus on what matters to him most: the eradication of cancer and specifically the never ending work of the American Cancer Society. Thiel has motivated those in the orbit of his life to commit ‘to create a world with less cancer and more birthdays.’ A year since my mom passed at the Hope Hospice in Cape Coral, Florida, and there is nothing I would do to celebrate one more birthday with her. Thiel’s fight is not simply good business, the right thing to do or even noble; it is simply personal to him and that is what matters most.
Thiel is a man who has progressed because he seems possessed of the same steely determination and optimism of folks like Larry Silverstein who forged beyond the hassles of rebuilding and those who questioned whether it could be done and done better, to convert many former and existing opponents of the rebuilding process, who saw a reinstallation of the former Twin Towers as the only conceivable alternative. I know because I was one of them. And though I deeply respect the work of the Twin Towers Alliance and hoped myself to see a version of the iconic Twin Towers rise again, I must acknowledge that in my heart, as is being documented by Project Rebirth, I do believe Lower Manhattan is finally rising in a manner that we can be proud.
Perhaps in the end, the best leaders don’t simply pander to the average man’s sentiments but help us all to evolve by guiding us with their leadership. Thiel is a man with both the character and poise to lead the rise of the financial community from a troubling era where capitalists, community and political leaders and average citizens all point the finger of blame at one another, to a new dawn and a more prosperous tomorrow. Sometimes the best New Yorker’s arrive here from….. some place else. With all due respect to Julie Menin, John Thiel, is also one of the reason’s Wall Street [is] Rising.
Thiel is one of many untold stories in this great metropolis that put better in context how, during a time of turmoil and flatter profit margins, an abiding humanity underlies the commitment of business leaders to sustain and fortify a modern society by keeping many philanthropic and cultural institutions in the black. From the illumination, education and cultural enlightenment of our children, to providing opportunity and upward mobility, critical health care and other transitional services to members of our community in need, the work of philanthropically inclined citizens in the financial sector, like John Thiel, forges onward in the occupy humanity movement.
“The Road to the gates of Heaven is not paved with the dishonor of creating further injustice through self righteousness here on earth about god’s will with respect to the gay community. Bigotry is furthermore an economic drain on society, unless you think the work of gay capitalists, entrepreneurs, blue collar workers, professionals and creatives is not part of the GDP, so please do not try to tell me that the economy and gay marriage are separate issues. The civil rights of all of our citizens and all of god’s children are relevant to the progress of our nation.” – Christopher London (2012)
Equal Rights For Gays Do Not Undermine the Rights of Non-Gays
This past week, the President of the United States of America, for the first time stated publicly and unequivocally, directly from the White House, his support of marriage equality for same sex couples. This was truly a watershed event in the civil rights movement for the LGBT Community that traces its rise to the Stonewall Riots in New York City in 1969. Opponents of marriage equality, traditionalists and those guided by traditional family values ought to relax, recognize and comprehend that gay marriage has not bee mandated upon straight people. I am pretty sure that straight folks are still free to be straight, marry and procreate with members of the opposite sex. Those who are not gay certainly remain free to live their own lives in accordance to their interpretation of biblical law. Even those of us who are of the belief that gay pairings fly in the face of God’s natural law must recognize and understand that no where in scripture or elsewhere has God licensed individual citizens to enforce the power and judgment of God upon individual citizens. To do so would also be in further contravention of equal rights under the law under the U.S. Constitution, which is actually the ruling document of this nation.
God’s Law Should be Enforced by God not Moralists who Claim to Speak for God
If gays are truly living unholy lives not in accordance with God’s law, and God is to render any kind of judgment therefor, he or she can do it in his or or her own time. You and I both are alleviated of performing God’s role here on this earth and should thus be liberated to focus on your own life, and not the private life of your neighbor. The exercise and pursuit of so called traditional family values ought not to stand in defiance of exhibiting humanity towards our fellow citizens. With all due respect to the eloquent Tony Perkins, a conservative politician who heads the Family Research Council, I respect those among us who fight to insure that families and children of this nation receive their rightful priority in our national agenda both in terms of sustaining our civilization and working towards creating more humane environments for our nation’s children and their parents. Your role in that regard is valid to a point. You are not God. God has not licensed you to determine how our citizens should be treated under the law of the land which is the U.S. Constitution. When you thus take things a step further to prevent gay people from marrying and committing to one another, challenging their individual liberty, that is a manipulative distraction and definitely not the key to vaulting America into leading the world. Doing so will not further stabilize traditional families but only lead to greater tension and societal instability. Am I my brother’s keeper? Yes I am, but I am certainly not his overlord. Nevertheless, I must love him as I would myself. Forward and onward my fellow Americans.
FORWARD: Weaving & Mending the Tapestry of American Life
The political debate in America ought to be about how to get business thriving, how our country can compete better in a more competitive global economy, how we can elevate the forgotten pockets in the Appalachian region where our countrymen are hurting from the impact of globalization, how we can repair urban blight and social decay while building the security of the middle class and luring the elite of the world who live in more oppressive environments in other countries to come get their educations and fulfill their entrepreneurial dreams here in America. We can better Rebuild America and ‘Drive America Forward’ but luring the top talent from around the world to build their dreams in our nation. We should invite and allow the world’s elite minds and souls to weave themselves in and become part of America’s tapestry. New York City should commit itself to being the model city for the best and brightest the world over and then it can serve as a shining example to the rest of the country that differences among people are not to be feared but perhaps celebrated.
The challenges we face as a nation are different ones in some respects than we faced before. New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg’s thought process on enlightened immigration policy is one which needs to be examined, understood and embraced. New York is where it is in 2012, regardless of one’s critique of the Mayor on individual issues because he was forward thinking on a grand scale and he also ultimately came to embrace aspects of the Giuliani legacy, even in times where the cities coffers were less flush with cash than they were in the 1990’s. That post 9/11 New York City did not slip into a 1970’s abyss is testament to New York City’s political leadership. Consider that the Mayor has as many critics on the right and on the left and I would say that when you infuriate folks on all sides you are in all likelihood striving to do what is best for the whole of society. To that I say Mazel Tov. Do I agree with every decision made by every leader? Hardly, but I see merit often in the grander mosaic and vision. We are all human and we all fail and succeed. I am a New Yorker, I have seen the best and the worst in my lifetime over the last 50 years and was informed by those in my family who were here at the turn of the last century. Frankly, I think we are lucky to have had the Mayoral leadership that we have had for the last 20 years. That is just New York.
On a national level, we ought not fighting about how to prevent some folks who relate to the same sex differently than the majority of us do from partnering with one another, so that they too can be liberated to fight the fights that matter and also be focused in elevating our society. The LGBT Community and immigrants to America alike contribute to the economic vitality, prosperity and spiritual core of this country whether you like it or not and whether you respect how they live. And truthfully, why should we be at all concerned or shall I say be pre-occupied with denying the LGBT Community equality? How will it advance America to remove from the team certain folks by reclassifying them as lesser Americans?
BIGOTRY = An Economic Drain on Society
Is the American way ‘truth and justice for all’ or only for some? Which is it? And please do not try to tell me that the economy and gay marriage are separate issues, (see: the position taken by GOP: ‘GOP: Economy tops gay marriage as campaign issue’) for I would argue that they are intertwined. A divided society is less productive ultimately. Bigotry is thus an economic drain on society. Intolerance and injustice are very much tied to the economy because it unsettles otherwise productive members of society from their pursuits in life that drive the economy to defend their station as citizens of this land. As we seek to move this nation forward, it is important and perhaps critical to consider that economically speaking, the LGBT Community is a somewhat vital contributor to the nation’s economy and our Gross National Product (GNP). Unless you think that the work of gay capitalists, entrepreneurs, professionals and creatives is not part of the GNP or GDP, you might want to consider that gays make steady contributions to society by working in Science, Technology, Venture Capital & Finance, Manufacturing, Entertainment, Medicine, Law, Academia, Publishing, the Arts, Theater, Fashion etc. Many members of the LGBT Community own enterprises that employ gays and non-gays alike. And many are significant philanthropists funding causes near and dear to many of us who seem to be less sympathetic to their shared desire for equal standing. Don’t believe me? Ask the owners of restaurants and hotels, wedding planners, florists, photographers in your own community whether gay marriage is useful for their business.
Think twice before you condone the idea of treating members of the LGBT Community as lesser Americans. Maybe if you do, then all those “homo’s” will move overseas and build the economy of other nations and America can be a productive “gay free” nation like……. IRAN. Productive members of society should not have to expend time and effort defending their sexuality and the manner in which they love from citizens who believe that God has given them license to discriminate. If they do, we all lose.
Rational Discourse vs. Dehumanization Tactics
This is why regardless of whether you are a Democrat, Republican or Independent you have to appreciate that Barack Obama, the sitting President of the United States has finally stated public support for marriage equality. Obama has evolved like many of us, myself included, continue to on this issue. This does not mean that there are not thoughtful and rational arguments to challenge any candidate for high office or his or her re-election effort. President Obama is not above reproach as a leader and like any sitting leader deserves to be challenged. There is nothing wrong with having a legitimate policy debate and bringing it to the American people. The case against the Obama Presidency all to often has been made on false terms and via use of dehumanizing code words and divisive and ridiculous rhetoric that appeals to our fears and not to our intellect. Andrew Sullivan in the Daily Beast, makes some valid points in a piece wherein he postures that Obama’s long game may end up out smarting all of his critics:
“The right calls him a socialist, the left says he sucks up to Wall Street, and independents think he’s a wimp. The attacks from both the right and the left on the man and his policies aren’t out of bounds. They’re simply—empirically—wrong.”
Where I take further issue is when that debate degenerates into blaming this President for every misfortune befallen to the people of this land, as if we were in such a stellar place in 2008, and then further attempt to radicalize a President who inherited a country in the verge or in the midst of economic collapse and at a major crossroads, by dehumanizing him and referring to him as a radical socialist, terrorist Muslim sympathizer, a thug and not cut of the same American cloth but different and then further when all else fails, through the use of angry white male’s rhetoric of last resort….gay bashing and inferences of ‘you’re so gay’. A perfect example of gay bashing is yesterday’s cheap shot at President Obama by Senator Rand Paul (R-Kentucky), whose testicles I would personally like to stuff down his down throat, for playing to his own ignorance and those listening to him with his cheap shot on the President. Then again that is just me as I usually find that men of such ilk don’t have the balls to truly refer to themselves as “Men”.
As reported in the LA Times: U.S. Senator Rand Paul remarked on President Obama’s decision to publicly support same-sex marriage by saying, “Call me cynical, but I wasn’t sure his views on marriage could get any gayer.”
Senator Paul’s juvenile remark only illustrated for the wider public the depth of the man’s ignorance and undermined the stature he was building in wider society, at least in my eyes, by effectively dismissing the President with all the veiled disrespect of calling someone a silly or “stupid homo.”
The Road to Heaven is Not Paved by Injustice & Self Righteousness
We ought not, however, to be engaged in these unproductive battles to differentiate rights between citizens based on their sexual preference. We need to move beyond unproductive and divisive dialoque’s on these wedge issues so that the entire country is charging forward in all cylinders. That is the America I want to live in. My values may in many cases be far more traditional but nevertheless should not traditional values embody loving all those that are different than you or me? Are we not all God’s children? I do not profess to know what is God’s plan or the path to heaven, if it exists, or what kind of life is the most holy, and I have and will continue to make every conceivable mistake there is to make in the remainder of my time here on earth, but I do not think that the road to the gates of heaven is paved with the dishonor of creating further injustice through one’s own self anointed self righteousness and judgment exhibited thereby, here on this earth, towards the gay community – and about what other consenting adults should be doing or not doing behind closed doors and who they cannot help loving. And yes that is an evolution for me as well.
Forward: With More Humanity, Love, Sanity & Tolerance
As stated to me by another one of my enlightened female role models: “We groom our generations to want more, do less, take as much as you can and give as little as possible.” So instead maybe we should come to be happy with preserving our health, taking responsibility for ourselves and the community we live in and commit to loving and supporting family units of all kinds and commit to building a more humane society over all and at least figure out what we can do to make our society more humane and just and spread our love to more and more of our fellow citizens. I think only great things can come from spending more time loving our fellow man than judging him.
It seems so simple on so many levels and so utterly achievable if we as Americans appeal to our better angels rather than fermenting politics of division.
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See also
-The True Colors Fund: The True Colors Fund was co-founded by Cyndi Lauper to inspire and engage everyone, especially straight people, to become active participants in the advancement of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality and to raise awareness about and bring an end to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth homelessness. For more information please visit: http://www.truecolorsfund.org
While Lupica may ultimately be right, it is likely for the posture assumed by Lady Bunny that cast aspersions on the President for not going far enough. And that is truly disheartening. Maureen Dowd in the NY Times (after this piece was initially written) also condemned the President emphasizing as follows:
“Why doesn’t he just do the exhilarating thing immediately? Why does he always have to be dragged kicking and screaming to principle? Not everything is a calculation. His embrace of gay marriage was not a profile in courage. It was good, better than continued “evolving,” but not particularly brave. He has been in office three and a half years and he is running for re-election, trying to bring back the thrill with a lot of constituencies and donors who felt let down by his temporizing. Who knows how long he might have kept evolving, while his advisers gamed it out, if Joe Biden, Arne Duncan and Shaun Donovan hadn’t forced his hand by speaking out in such an unabashed way in support of same-sex marriage.”
My answer to Mike Lupica, Lady Bunny and Maureen Dowd is the same. President Obama is the President of the entire country. He is not in the same position as New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg or Governor Andrew Cuomo. The simple reality is that he cannot brow beat the entire nation on this issue because the nation is still evolving. The simple reality is also that he cannot govern if he cannot get re-elected. He inherited a host of complex problems along with a cynical, distrustful and volatile electorate that has had several years of being steadily massaged by the activist right demonizing Obama for his inability to solve instantly every problem created by his predecessors who have demonized him for his different’ness and branding him a traitor, a terrorist Islamic sympathizer and and a socialist, among other things. Rick Santorum essentially referred to him as a “Nigger”, a “Government Nigger” and now Senator Rand Paul, essentially called him a homo by saying that “he did not think Obama’s views on marriage could be any gayer.” Under these circumstances, I could see why he might be slow to evolve to a position which might give the forces of intolerance in battleground states and an engaged and well funded opponent one more issue to brand him with, ‘gay’. As stated by Andrew Sullivan, “Of Course Obama’s Gay Marriage Stance is Political – So What?” And yes, maybe he is cooler than this guy.
The people, a friend of mine, has referred to as the “Whiners” ought to recognize because of how entrenched are forces against marriage equality that the President’s symbolic statement of support for gay marriage is in fact historic. It does not mean, however, the battle is over. The President’s role as leader is to persuade folks and get them to come along with him and not to brow beat those who disagree with him. The leader of the free world has endorsed marriage equality. Like it or not, the votes to make marital equality the law of the land are not there yet. As aptly stated by Scott Raphael, a commenter on Gawker in a pieced entitled ‘Barack Obama’s Bullshit Gay Marriage Announcement’:
“The moral issue is totally black and white. The social issue of getting folks to accept it is not, and will take time. You can’t expect a politician to commit career suicide when he is in a position to actually continue to make slow progress on the issue in his second term. It’s foolish to think it’s even a good idea to!”
Or by another commenter:
“As few as five years ago, a sitting president vocalizing support for gay marriage was a pipe dream. I too want *more* and *now*. However, that desire does not negate the fact that Obama has probably done more for LGBTQ rights than any other president in history. I’m not suggesting that we should now sit by complacently; rather, I’m suggesting that we be appropriately thankful for powerful allies while we work to continue the momentum.”
“The right calls him a socialist, the left says he sucks up to Wall Street, and independents think he’s a wimp. Andrew Sullivan on how the president may just end up outsmarting them all.”
Obama is the first black President facing a significant reelection challenge in uncertain, if not turbulent times, and yet he dares to pronounce his evolution on one of the biggest wedge issues of our time in terms of support for gay marriage in a bold fashion and and that only merits a passing nod by Lupica for playing follow the leader to Cuomo and recrimination from Gawker, Lady Bunny for not going far enough and Maureen Dowd of the NY Times for being too calculated. Really? WTF! Gay Conservative writer, Andrew Sullivan gets it. Why can’t you? What freaking planet are you on? In the blunt words of Sarah Silverman, quoting Newark Mayor Cory Booker, stated:
Gay marriage, she said, “is something that Newark Mayor Cory Booker said it best: Some things are not meant to be a vote. Some things are a right. And if things like that were left for a vote, he said, I wouldn’t be where I am today – meaning anything that is civil rights. Because people don’t always know what’s best. Their fears keep them from being open and being fair. And so that would just be not up for a vote.” “Gay marriage, legal, with a big fucking apology for the past few years,” she added.
TrueColors: Obama A True Leader According to Cyndi Lauper
I offer the statement of recording artist Cyndi Lauper, also a co-founder of The True Colors Fund, in response to President Obama’s public support of marriage equality:
“President Obama continues to be a true leader for equality and I have never been prouder to call him my president than I am today. The president’s support of marriage equality gives hope and encouragement to the millions of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender young people who feel ostracized and alone. The words of the president have reinforced that they are worthy of dignity, respect, and love – just like everyone else. As a supporter of the president and a longtime advocate for young gay and lesbian Americans, I am thrilled about today’s news and I’m looking forward to my visit to Capitol Hill, where I will tomorrow appeal to members of Congress to fund programs supporting our homeless LGBT youth.”
The President expressing his evolution on this matter in what is expected to be an extremely close election in uncertain times, frankly illustrates some cajones that Mr. Lupica and Lady Bunny could have been a tad more gracious in acknowledging, especially given the volatile polls. Obama needs the votes of voters across the United States, Cuomo and Bloomberg needed the votes in New York State and New York City respectively.
President Obama clearly deserves more credit than he will get from some corners in America. New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo deserves credit for leading the way on passage of marital equality in New York as does Mike Bloomberg for being an outspoken supporter of gay rights. New York is, however, one of the most progressive states in America. In the end, Cuomo’s stance in support of marital equality elevated Cuomo’s stature. Obama’s evolution will make Andrew Cuomo seem even more mainstream nationally, if he runs for the Presidency in 2016 as many suspect he will. This is no knock on Andrew Cuomo nor does not make what he did any less righteous or significant. The foregoing being said, do not let anyone tell you that President Obama came forth to pronounce his evolution on gay marriage for political gain. It is not clear in the short term rush for votes, whether the President’s evolution and historic pronouncement helps him in his re-election effort. Despite marital equality having majority support in the wider population of the country, the President’s position poses a far greater risk to his re-election effort than it did to Cuomo’s or Bloomberg’s standing in New York. In North Carolina, a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage defining marriage as solely between a man and a woman, recently passed by a 61%-39% margin. As stated by Christian Science Monitor, ‘North Carolina gay-marriage vote could hurt Obama reelection bid’.
North Carolina is a key battleground state Obama hopes to win and ironically, the 2012 Democratic Convention will be held in Charlotte this summer. The President’s position risks alienating a wide swath of the national electorate that has been misled on this wedge issue for political gain by his opponents in the GOP for years. The President has done what few before him have, risked his Presidency on doing the righteous thing. Those who take risks for equality of all citizens deserve to have the rest of us stand along side them.
OBAMA’S Principled Stand vs. The Latter Day Joseph Smith: A Mormon Con-Man
In my estimation, President Obama thus deserves the unequivocal support of anyone who claims to stand for equal rights in America. If you truly believe in equal rights for all citizens then you must support the President and not someone like Mitt Romney who is a truly hollow man, a political charlatan and Mormon Madoff who has shape-shifted all over the political spectrum on this issue, including manipulating LGBT activists while seeking higher office in Massachusetts, only to stab the LGBT Community and pivot to the right to raise his national profile with conservatives and position himself for a run for the Presidency. As I have stated previously in a post on Cape Cod Today:
“Romney’s carefully nuanced position on gay rights is politically expedient and depends on whether he is running for the Senate, governor of Massachusetts or seeking the Republican nomination for President.”
Traditional Values & Christian Upbringing Are Not in Conflict with Gay Rights
Truth told, I was raised Catholic in New York City by a family with more traditional values with very little connection to or exposure to the gay community, aside from picking up the Village Voice, listening to the Village People or reading generically about people I never crossed paths with; the gay world and even the gay pride movement was largely a caricature for me. In 1969, I was more consumed with the Amazing Mets than I was knowledgeable or old enough to even understand that the Stonewall Riots represented a turning point in Gay & Lesbian Liberation and the commencement in earnest of the LGBT Movement. Furthermore, I spent my summers in the 1970’s at Camp Good News, a Christian summer camp in New England, the very same one that Senator Scott Brown attended at a time that he claimed in his book to have been molested as a child. I then also attended an affiliated camp known as Chop Point in the town of Woolwich, Maine. My experience at both camps was not at all like that of Scott Brown. Even so, despite all I learned at those places and at St. Paul’s Roman Catholic Church, I developed an inclination towards Jewish women and an appreciation to an almost fetish degree for those who came from different backgrounds and life experience than my own. My father grew up in a rather prominent family based in Armenia, Quindio in Colombia, South America and grew up in somewhat of a life of privilege compared to my mother who grew up in a working class Italian/German family in Chelsea back before it was hip, trendy and gay and more of a working class neighborhood that was an extension of Hell’s Kitchen.
HUMANITY:We Are All God’s Children
My parents always reminded me that the beggar on the street, the homeless man or blind woman was no different than me. And likewise, they also reminded me that just because a man lives in a big house and has attained all the trappings of professional and material success and wealth, it did not mean that said individual did not also suffer the same pains of the every man. Everyone takes hits in life. Some get knocked down and out. Some come back and some who seem to lead more privileged lives suffer experience untold pain and suffering.
My parents although they came from different socioeconomic backgrounds and ultimately divorced, reinforced in me that the best they could do was prepare me so when the hit came to me whether it was disease, financial misfortune or bankruptcy, career impasse, challenge or failure or even heart break that I would be filled with the love and belief in myself to come back.
God’s Little Green Apples Always There to Remind Me
And then it happened. I took a fall, a precipitous one. I went through that journey of the dark night of the soul. I gave up on myself. In the midst of all this personal life drama, a strange thing happened, my eyes opened. When you walk in another man’s shoes you begin to understand, understand how the other man feels and how he sees the world. It is surely an interesting vantage point and it made me stronger but it is not a place I am in any rush to head back to. My parents theories were validated. In my climb back from the abyss I will never forget the random acts of kindness, in particular those of the most “Christian” like in spirit, some of whom were members of the LGBT Community and who had no reason to help me. I remember those frankly more than the judgments of the less than gracious I incurred during my descent. So maybe when you see a drunk, a beaten woman, a stupid whore, a retard or a ‘fucking homo’ ….what I see is one of God’s children there to remind me I am just like every single one of them. That my friends is why people different than you cross your path, to remind you. The LGBT Community is there to remind us that we still do not have equal rights for all citizens. And that is something that no American should take pride in.
Given my upbringing, I too once held steadfast in my belief that marriage was a life commitment/contract exclusively between a man and woman. It was easy for me because that is how I saw the world and assumed it always worked, even if I came to see far too many often weasel out of their commitments in unscrupulous ways. Nevertheless, in all the time I attended Catholic Church, religious instruction, Christian Camp and some Protestant masses and even Jewish temples or in my studies of the bible and Christian theology in college, for some reason I never came across that section that outlined my right to stand in judgment to deny my fellow man or woman equal rights under the law because they happened to love a member of the same sex. This is so, even though I had not evolved like Obama has and was myself uncomfortable with aspects of gay life and rationalized that civil unions were sufficient. The label to me is less relevant if you simply confer the same legal rights to couples who contract and commit to one another. I was an economics major who also studied religion and philosophy in college. At one point, I even contemplated converting to Judaism but again I saw nothing there. Then again, I do not profess to be any rabbinical scholar. I even long believed that certain faith and family organizations, posing as impartial “family advocates” who sought to protect the family unit were actually doing so, even though they passed judgment that some types of families were some how less. I do not see how anybody who truly loves and supports the security of children would want children who are under someone like Rosie O’Donnell’s care, not to have that care because she is a Lesbian.
To the learned scholars out there, including those who claim to be closer to god than me perhaps maybe because you think being over 6 feet tall to my 5′11″ is the reason you are closer to heaven, but please give me the section and page number in any religious scripture where God has given individual citizens power of attorney and license to anoint oneself God’s spokesperson in order to discriminate against another one of God’s children. If gays are truly living unholy lives not in accordance with god’s law, then let god deal with it in due course and focus on your own life.
Huckleberry Huckabee Wanders off the Farm
You may even be a Huckabee who got his own show on Fox. But to me, when you send out fundraising blasts shortly after the President stands for equal rights for all citizens and you decide that is some sort of a call to arms and ‘defining issue’ for the coming election, in my mind that makes you simply simply a divisive Huckleberry who wandered too far off the farm in Arkansas. May I remind you Sir, of your own former oral fixation? O.k. relax I am not inferring anything regarding a penchant for sauseech. I understand that fixation was for Apple Pie, Pork Chops and Fried Chicken. I can relate. God knows I wished I could keep my own mouth wired shut at times, as much as others have tried to do it for me. But nevertheless the over weight have also been subjected to discrimination. Why as a former unpopular fat man can’t you see the LGBT Community as the unpopular fat kids?
If I have more authority and am somehow more equal than someone else please let me know because my ego wants me to believe that I might be better than some of you, whether I am more fabulous or not. You see, I look at my fellow man, rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, fit, fat or skinny, male or female, gay, straight, bisexual or transgender and what I see is a human being with skin and bones who breathes, bleeds, laughs and cries and feels pleasure and pain, just like me. Life will kick us all in the ass sometimes. We don’t have to give it any assistance in that regard.
When a man beats a woman or when someone calls someone a retard, a drunk, a homo, a whore et al etc., know this, if you are so religious, how do you know that homo, that whore, retard or drunk is not Jesus or God himself? God did not create Human Pinata’s for some of us to take swipes at. America is not some scene out of Clockwork Orange. It’s easy to love people just like you, but can you love people not like you? If you don’t already, you need to learn to. It is 2012, ignorance and contempt for your fellow man is what holds us back as a people.
My friends, I can’t wait for the day that the political prostitutes can no longer conquer and divide us on wedge issues but instead only appeal to our better angels. Until that time and perhaps to assure that time comes about sooner rather than later, I say support Obama’s re-election because he is the only candidate in the race who won’t compromise on equality to obtain the votes of the unenlightened and to keep them that way. The enlightened must stand with him and along side him, as well as march to the polls in record numbers this coming fall.
Time to get to work. The LGBT Community is still there to remind me there is work to do. Now they should be reminded to get all in and behind the President.
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The True Colors Fund was co-founded by Cyndi Lauper to inspire and engage everyone, especially straight people, to become active participants in the advancement of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality and to raise awareness about and bring an end to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth homelessness. For more information please visit: http://www.truecolorsfund.org
This is simply how I roll as a man of privilege, class and style. Yet, in this whole debate about the 1% vs. the 99%, sometimes the shortsighted acts of others simply force me to accept that I simply might be a tad better than both — at times. Capische?
Despite the royal lineage referenced herein and previous coverage of fundraising affairs of the Central Park Conservancy, I found myself on the outside looking in this past week as I was denied for the first time in the past 8 years as the Editor & Founder of ManhattanSociety.com, the opportunity to cover the famed FLO Luncheon or Hat Luncheon, one of the more regal fundraisers for the Central Park Conservancy hosted by the Women’s Committee. It had me wondering whether it was my association with one of the parks in the outer boroughs that cost me my societal standing with an elite group of proud Upper East Side Manhattanites committed to the maintenance of the people’s park at the heart of our metropolis. Why a private non-profit, managing a space in the public trust would choose to manage, control or limit social or society press that had afforded it and its benefactors and honorees traditionally positive coverage, in such a manner is curious. But I diverge and will explore this in my next blog post.
I have been asked on a number of occasions who I am, what I stand for and how did I become this way. Sometimes the inquiry was intended as a compliment, other times it was made perhaps out of shear frustration and confusion with my approach, but finally in a number of other instances it was intended as an insult. While it may be useful, from a communication standpoint, to be understood to achieve certain objectives, in those instances where those that did not get it or me, I was never insulted for their inability to grasp the import of a less conventional man. In some cases, perhaps a rapprochement might be necessary but yet in other cases I soon realized that it was perhaps not necessarily worth time to justify the essence or foundation of my character as a man. Conventional thinkers have a hard time grasping unconventional people, and thus sometimes you can help them by simply walking away from them. For, in this life, I know that I have already experienced profound love, lust, happiness and loss. Were I to die today, I would rest comfortable in the knowledge that I have taken all that life could give in terms of punishment and need not solicit anymore. Likewise, I have sampled sufficiently from the tree of life, enjoyed its plentiful bounty and been given the opportunity to continue to plant seeds to infuse my spirit in to those who may out last me here on earth. This gives me solace in the fact that while maybe there are things that cannot be changed in the here and now perhaps can be changed when I am gone.
A Revolutionary Builder of Souls: Virginia Bernadette Saunig-Roche (1-31-39 to 8-24-2011)
In my mother’s company, I always felt truly rich for it was always clear that I was in the presence of a revolutionary builder of souls. On the eve of the anniversary of her diagnosis with Lung Cancer, which took her life soon thereafter, a little less than a year ago in the late Summer of 2011, while the pain of her loss is still fresh in my mind, the lessons of her life instilled in me are ones which I believe must be passed on.
Because of my mother, the women I have evolved to most admire have most often been strong, independent minded women committed to their own evolution, who were “resilient and self-reliant”. Much like my mother, they could do it all. And much like my mother, they often had to explain away their success or hold back their achievements, accomplishments or superior insight because it might undermine men the stature or confidence of men relying on their wisdom. Many of my heroes and favorite artists are women. I am sure that some even see a place in their life for cold heartless bitches. Personally, I do not go that far, but I do have an appreciation for those who like author Arden Leigh who can embody being ‘A Weapon of Mass Seduction’. ‘‘The New Rules of Attraction: How to Get Him, Keep Him, and Make Him Beg for More is a philosophy any reasonable man would love to unwittingly embrace. Let the deception begin. But I diverge.
For the preferred type of women, a man was certainly a welcome or useful accessory but not a necessary component for their survival. While I embraced those kinds of women in my professional life, my romantic life was a mixed bag. Maybe I thought that I did not have enough to offer them? I am not 100% certain but all too often I rushed to those who I thought I might be able to assist rather than those who might complete me; some even ‘had me at hello’ but before too long I was already headed for the door. At this point, with the clock winding down, all I can say is that may the epilogue to my mothers life be that I finally get the most important and obvious lesson of all, to embrace and support women of strength, independence and character who choose to embrace and accept me, a man with both alpha and beta personality attributes, whose passion and pursuits are not always conventional. The reward I seek may sometimes have no value to the more conventional man. I do however, know, accept and appreciate that I need the love, if not the vital energy of a strong woman infused into me much like plants need sunlight. Unlike a predatory vampire stalking his prey, I will let nature take its course; therein lay the conundrum of the beta man, he may not invest the time only to learn that she’s just not that into you. Besides which he won’t be tempted to hire a Wing Women or employ the Wing girl method. You can instead figure out how to get a Scorpio man to fall in love with you.
“Though all Scorpios do not spend their lives pondering the mysteries of life … truly evolved Scorpios can learn to use their power to help and inspire others”, and this is what I hope to do hereby. I honor my mother, my god and my country by embracing powerful feminine spirits who gravitate towards me and choose to steer carefully and respectfully away from those who offer a mere frolic and detour that will result in taking me off a productive trajectory in what remains of my life. I recommend you do the same. For I know that I no longer frankly have the time. Those are my values as taught to this Scorpio man by the woman whose sign was brewed in the Age of Aquarius.
The Lessons Learned/Distilled
Female strength comes in many forms. Know, understand and accept that. But more importantly, recognize it when you see it. Don’t run from it. Fear not strong women. I am certainly not scared of them. Instead I am scared more of weaker and manipulative women who will detract from your pursuits in life and set you back from accomplishing your ultimate destiny.
Nurture and support a woman’s strength and independence for it is the best emotional venture capital investment that a man can make in life. More and more men will come to grasp that as fact. As men grow increasingly more secure with women’s strength they will in effect become more liberated from self imposed servitude towards the wrong women and be free to love a woman for being all those amazing things that even you as a man are as well and some of those things that you are not. And even so they will still accept you. If you need an arithmetic lesson: 2 + 2 = 4 and 1-1=0 Many of these women know that but too few of us men know that.
A real man should have little or no desire to restrain, inhibit, control or undermine a woman’s power and feminine strength should he be lucky enough for it to find and embrace him. Likewise he is not controlling, jealous or possessive in his romantic relations with her. Even when overwhelmed by desire for her, he stands back and let’s her roam free in the wild, taking care of his other business in life, until her return. If you satisfy her needs, quench her thirst and stimulate her mind, body and spirit on many levels, rest assured and be confident….for she will return, only to savage you for you patience in dealing with her evolution away from you and to celebrate how you too have evolved in her absence. This coming together and apart is part of the process of developing your spirits and power mutually and independently. Fear not the absence of your loved one, but instead do something with that time.
Our society will only grow stronger if we nurture and support the independence and strength of women in our personal relationships, in our country and worldwide in our human policy. As the anniversary of my mother’s passing draws near and in a month of women being honored while also facing challenges around the world, I am reminded that perhaps my ultimate purpose is to help others who would dare to repress women to recognize we as a people can only lose, if our women are less or if we strive to make them less to appease fragile male ego’s.
God bless America. God bless the women of America and everywhere on this planet they meet those who would contain their dreams and their passion. Tear down the walls that impede their progress and we will remove those impediments to our own evolution.
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About: Virginia Bernadette Saunig-Roche (1-31-39 to 8-24-2011), was born in Chelsea section of Manhattan to working class American parents of German, Austrian and Italian descent. Virginia attended St. Colomba’s Catholic Parochial school and attended mass regularly at St. Colomba Church. As an adult, Virginia resided on the Upper East Side of Manhattan for nearly a quarter century working in media ad sales and the barter industry, before retiring to Cape Coral, Florida with her second husband, James P. Roche (who worked in property management for the Trump Organization and Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center for nearly 3 decades) where she passed in the summer of 2011 at the Hope Hospice survived by her four sons, two sisters and her grandchildren. In September of 2011, I, along with my older brother Stewart, eulogized our mother at a service held for her at Church of Our Lady of Peace, a Roman Catholic Church on the Upper East Side of Manhattan which she regularly attended during her days in Manhattan. My development and perspective were impacted strongly by my mother’s Catholic faith, common sense and wisdom as well as the regular nourishment she provided me and her other 3 sons with her flavorful and hearty meals, especially on Sunday. She will never be forgotten by those that were touched by her grace, wisdom and humanity.
