HELL, Sept. 30, 2010/Satanic News Wire/– SATAN announced today from his office south of the border of humanity, that he will emerge from the bowels of Hell to walk the Red Carpet and attend the Ribbon Cutting Ceremony for the Ground Zero Mosque in 2011 or 2012 whatever anniversary of 9/11 it should open. It will be the first visit for The Prince of Darkness since his last visit to the metropolis on 9-11-2001.
Satan expressed great pleasure with the new official artistic renderings of the Ground Zero Mosque by Soma Architects, rebranded as the Park 51 Community Center brought forth by the Cordoba Initiative. As stated by Satan, “The insidious design is even all the more delightful reminiscent of one of my greatest works, Kristallnacht which is the “Night of Broken Glass” during the Third Reich in Nazi Germany.” The Dark Prince largely concurred with American Thinker’s analysis below:
But the entire facade shows these shapes dissolving, as if shattered and falling down.
Kind of like a window shattered by rocks and fragmenting into pieces.
This no more coy than the crescent shaped monument proposed for Shanksville, PA, where United 92 crashed to earth.
Joining the Prince of Darkness will be none other than the spirit of the warrior prophet and pedophile Mohammed himself. “Frankly, I never thought I would see the day when hell would rise on earth, although Adolf Hitler came pretty darn close close; Mohammed’s followers have appeared to have truly succeeded in persuading the liberal elites that re-installation of the Caliphate and ushering in a New Dark Ages on American soil will lead to the advancement of civilization, and for that I am immensely proud” crowed the unearthly Prince. “Ironically, the treatment of women, gays and other infidels under the leadership of exalted Imams of ‘the one true faith’— and who do you think that they got that phrase from?— almost makes my venue south of the border superfluous. The disciples of the warrior prophet and pedophile Mohammed, have created a veritable hell on earth for many of those folks, in the name of god no less. Gotta love it.”
Other expected guests include: Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, Iranian President Ahmenijad, Charles Manson (who will be released from his life sentence in an expression of tolerance and forgiveness by the New Order), Ted Bundy, Lizzie Borden and others to be named later as the guest list is still in formation.
Talks are in the works to get some of BRAVO’s Real Housewives of New York City to walk the Blood Red Carpet. Although most are actual Patriots and would not support Satan, there is in fact an Opening of a Zipper Factory next door the same night and feeling is that they may not be able to bypass a little “Devilsh” fun especially given Satan’s endless open bar and the ability to drink without limit and without ingesting actual calories. Furthermore, there is always the possibility for Kelly Bensimon to perform and Exorcism live on Bravo TV. Satan was however, quick to point out that he was not in fact responsible for Kelly Bensimon’s bat shit crazy behavior last season on the RHONY stating: “Truth is that Kelly Bensimon just plain scares me too.” Satan offered a quick no comment when asked about Danielle Staub other than that he and Danielle are still an item and he does not wish to discuss their relationship.