London in New York

This is to update those of you who feel like you might be missing out in this busy Halloween “Week”–yes, week. In New York City, Halloween is officially a week long holiday but this is to inform you about yet another special event this evening: 

The International Awards Conference for Celebrities Awarded the Most Awards Awarded by Other Celebrities Who Have Won Awards–Proceeds to Benefit Celebutards without Borders: Red Carpet Gala Arrivals and Photo Ops for those who may in the future also qualify to receive such awards to be held this evening beginning at 6:45. Departures to commence at 7:15 p.m. Photographers wishing to cover the event should arrive by 9 a.m. on the day before the event and wait outside until we call you.   Please note there is no actual gala, cocktails or dinner but we do have a fabulous red carpet and the largest step and repeat you have ever seen.  After the Award Ceremony all those Awarded Awards will go to an “After Party for Award Recipients Only” at which there will also be another red carpet (separate press credentials required) —-Sponsored by People who don’t Talk to You Unless you have a Microphone—–It’s real hush hush. It will be hosted by Jesus Luz and Keven Federline as Madonna is overseas shopping for (i.e. buying)  childen and Britney Spears is on tour.  Lindsay Lohan has a hangover but may still attend and Paris Hilton is in preparation for Concert tour dates in 2010.  You may want to see if you can “get on the list”

For the Halloween traditionalists among you, trick or treating begins on Saturday, October 31, 2009 and here are some other traditional NYC Halloween events you might want to consider, for those of you who are not watching The World Series.

Friday, October 30, 2009:  New York Restoration Project: “Hulaween 2009″  / El Museo Young International Circle Celebrates Dia de los Muertos

Saturday, October 31, 2009: New York’s Village Halloween Day Parade

So many nights I sit by my window
Waiting for someone to sing me his song
So many dreams I kept deep inside me
Alone in the dark but now
You’ve come along

You light up my life
You give me hope
To carry on
You light up my days
and fill my nights with song
Rollin’ at sea, adrift on the water
Could it be finally I’m turning for home?
Finally, a chance to say hey,
I love You
Never again to be all alone…..

–You Light Up My Life by Joseph Brooks, sung by Debby Boone

The recent indictment for rape and sexual assault of famed Academy Award-winning songwriter Joseph Brooks and his current efforts to spin the media and use the legal system in a proactively offensive manner to clawback and seek return of gifts given to one young woman who stood by him, cared for him and intended to marry him, got me thinking about the man’s career, his character and the somewhat, in my opinion, creepy nature of his artistic creations.  Most think of the 70’s ballad “You Light Up My Life”, written by Joseph Brooks and performed by Debby Boone as a purely romantic tune. I see it another way, as the hymn of an emotionally disturbed individual unable to connect with the object of his affection on a genuine, not surreal, and equal level, who is seeking salvation from his unfulfilled life.  If you doubt me, one only needs to view Brooks’ semi-autobiographical follow up film to You Light Up My Life entitled  “If I Ever See You Again” which almost seems to validate the stalker persona embodied by Brooks’ creepy character in the film.  These two songs combined hence are not romantic hymns, but anthems of a delusional stalker, who is either psychotic or narcissistic depending on how you interpret the perspective of the writer.  He either seeks salvation in his objectification of another human being or perceives himself as his prey’s own “Personal Jesus” unwilling to accept rejection.   The burden of seeking or placing one’s own salvation in another individual, making them in effect your own personal jesus, while generally perceived by most as spiritual and romantic, is on some level actually psychotic.   It is the merging of two healthy wholes that in the end make more fulfilling and complete partnerships, ones born of equality, realism, respect, affection and individual responsibility and not one which abdicates one’s own spiritual evolution to the whims of one’s immature projected feelings based on selfish need on another. Say what you will, I do not need Dr. Phil or some other pop psychological hack to persuade me otherwise. Am I cold, insensitive, unfeeling; perhaps even too pragmatic to be romantic? The truth is much to the contrary.

This is what I have gained, learned in my own personal evolution away from relationships that I once on several occasions attempted to understand or define in Hallmark terms, ones that I referenced and thought could be explained or understood in the lyrics of a particular pop song of the time. It was “our song” How romantic, let me dedicate it to you. Yes, I am one of those guys who made the object of my desire a tape with special songs I chose for her long before I ever saw John Cusack in High Fidelity, a character that a former girlfriend told me, in a flattering way that I reminder her of.  “As If” so many of my relationships could be crystallized by a certain songs or lyrics in a song. The romanticization of romance is itself a cottage industry. For me, however,  the sexiest and most romantic thing is when reality works, makes sense and is so pleasurable that its fills your mind, soul and your loins.  For some working in the illusion of the object of their affection may be more intoxicating as it was for me for so long. Reality is frankly ultimately more romantic and also more sustainable.

Fast forward to 2009 and the deterioration of Joseph Brooks, famed producer and Academy Award-winning songwriter of the 70’s ballad “You Light Up My Life” and movie by the same name is in the headlines.  Brooks, who I was unaware even lived in Manhattan, was indicted for 82 counts of sexual assault by the Manhattan District Attorney’s office, earlier in the Summer of 2009 for  forcing himself on 11 beauties lured to his Upper East Side pad with promises of film parts.  This did not surprise me when I thought about the lyrics to his legendary song, but what was surprising is that somewhere in the midst of all of this manipulation of aspiring young women that he  met via postings on Craigslist,  was that he seemed to have stumbled upon a young woman who chose to take care of him and who he was somehow able to persuade to marry him, before deciding to sue her instead accusing her of fraud, even after she stood by him during the sexual assault charges by the Manhattan D.A.’s office. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth.

When you are 71 plus years old, have a history of sexual abuse and look like a walking cadaver, have suffered a stroke that has made you even a less desirable romantic mate, especially to someone in the prime of her life, but nevertheless are some how able to lure attractive 22 year old women to participate in any meaningful way in your life, romantically or otherwise and to take care of you by serving as your nursemaid, and you choose to lavish her with gifts and money be grateful, grateful that you have the resources to partake of such an indulgence.  Let’s be clear that (i) you are doing so because said individual needs some kind of an incentive or reward to remain in your company rather than someone more youthful (ii) you should be thankful that you have the resources to pull these women into your life and (iii) and the reality is that you know it, they know it and we all know it. When you ask for the money or the gifts back, that is simply in bad taste. There is far less shame in paying for it and ordering call girls, than asking for the money back. Seems to me like this girl Joaly Gomez really did “Light up his life” but then he wanted the perfect dream in every respect and that is simply unrealistic. Now the reality is what he appears to be doing is engaging in harassment and defamation of her character, painting Ms. Gomez, the prey, as the predator.  So Joaly Gomez lit up his life but Mr. Brooks does not only not want to pay the bill, he wants his money back? For shame. That just makes Brooks one big CHAZA attempting to spin the media and portray the prey as the predator, even though he already got the benefit of the bargain, whatever one was struck, between himself and Ms. Gomez. There is no question that Gomez is entitled to keep the gelt.  Daddy’s should never ask for the sugar back. Whether or not, Joaly Gomez was Mr. Brooks own personal Jesus, it seems that he was in her prayers and she was someone who cares.

The facts seem to indicate that it Joe Brooks’ payments were at a minimum given in consideration for the companionship and caretaking of Mr. Brooks by Ms. Gomez as a reward for her unwavering loyalty at a time of crisis, loneliness and health issues. Arguably, Mr. Brooks fraudulent and deceptive predatory conduct towards multiple women over the course of 11 years and resulting criminal and civil liability should not allow him to now reach back and further defraud a lover, caretaker and friend who supported him in his darkest, post-stroke, days of his life. Whether the gifts were given as part of a transactional romantic arrangement for care taking or out of love and gratefulness for the care he was receiving, the transactional arrangement should be enforceable in a court of law and Mr. Brooks should have no claim to assets that he pledged or promised to Ms. Joaly Gomez. In fact, from a policy or precedent position, he should be penalized severely for his attempt to use the legal system to engage in what amounts to harassment,  a cynical ploy of a petulant child to reclaim personal property that Brooks’ parted with in exchange for consideration already supplied by Ms. Gomez.  Courts should be especially wary and distrustful of Brooks’ claim against Gomez, especially since they come at a time when he may now be in  need of resources after his indictment for rape and sexual assault earlier in the Summer of 2009 by the Manhattan D.A. Courts of law are no place for “Indian Givers” to reclaim personal property they gave away of their own free will and volition, for the consideration of affection, companionship and caretaking by another.  Mr. Brooks is using the same bullying tactics he used to assault and rape his other victims, whether they were call girls, escorts or aspiring actresses lured to his home,  in what amounts to an abuse of the legal process. That Mr. Brooks is now posing as a victim rather than the predator is not to be believed.  The Courts should not be used to re-interpret arranegments between parties and be construed in favor of a man who was in the stronger and powerful role and behaving in a predatory fashion towards all the women in his life.  Brooks’ crying wolf now that he is some kind of victim, frankly, is a phucking joke. Whether she was your sugar baby, nursemaid or even a gold digger, should matter not, some gold diggers actually earn their gold.  Have you taken a look in the mirror lately pal?

She take my money, well I’m in need
Yeah she’s a triflin’ friend indeed
Oh she’s a gold digger way over time
That digs on me

(She steal me money)
Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger (When I’m in need)
But she ain’t messin’ wit no broke Niggaz (She steal me money)
Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger (When I’m in need)

-Golddigger, Kanye West with Jamie Foxx

But then again, all one needs to do is to look at the so called masterwork of Mr. Brooks’ life to recognize that You Light Up My Life is not much a love filled ballad as it is the hymn of a strangely disturbed lonely manic depressive psychopath,  with a personality disorder and maybe suicidal tendencies; one who seeks salvation from the pain of a reality with an absence of feminine companionship. The lyrics suggest an unhealthy detachment from reality, who seeks not real romance based on healthy human interaction.  Instead it romanticizes and objectifies salvation from the painful loneliness and inability to fulfill one’s own selfish needs.   Truth is, and should be a lesson to us all, that when we stop trying to live Hallmark Card lives and instead attempt to connect in earnest in meaningful ways with our fellow humans that romance, love and companionship are actually possible.  It is from Brooks’ position, “Rollin’ at sea, adrift on the water” ,that genuine connection remains unrealistic, implausible and distant.  From a detached reality, the target  of your affection is objectified to an unhealthy degree, in effect unnerving her and driving her away from the responsibility of serving as the savior of another– your veritable lifeblood. That is on many levels frightening and is too much responsibility for anyone to assume. Narcissism or psychosis clouds ones ability to recognize that fact.

Beautiful lives are possible when we liberate ourselves from the negativity of the concept that love is impossible and cease objectifying,  idealizing and placing distance between ourselves and the objects of  our affection.   Realism can and should be be the greatest, but also preferred aphrodisiac. But on the other hand when you are 70 plus years old and have a  relationship with a beautiful young 22 year old who takes care of and nurtures you, perhaps because you provide for her financially, do not question her motives,  forget about “living the dream”, just live the illusion instead, cause you can’t take it with you.

Poor A-Rod. He starts out Catholic, marries a nice Greek Orthodox girl, the beautiful and smart Cynthia Scuritis Rodriguez cheats on her with Jose Caneseco and Dennis Rodman’s former mistress, the vampire of the Kabbalah Centre, otherwise known as Madonna, and thereby discovers Kabbalah or at least the version practiced by the New York Center.  The stripper(s) most can forgive him for. After all, were I the third baseman and clean up hitter for the New York Yankees, a multiple League MVP award winner and was walking around with $300 million in my pocket, not quite sure whether I would necessarily be able to avoid the temptation.  Fortunately he somehow  got away from the elder vampire and seems to have found romantic bliss with Kate Hudson, who is certainly an upgrade over the self professed ambassador of Judaism, and beyond Almost Famous in her own right.  But now apparently, according to the New York Daily News, A-Rod is exploring Buddhism.  Oy vey. After Madonna, seems to me the last thing A-Rod needs is more religion, and perhaps he instead needs to get tested.  As a New Yorker and a Yankees fan, I am deeply concerned. We just want a  World Series title here in New York.  So whatever you have to do Mr. Rodriguez, god bless.  Buddhism may lead to a higher level of enlightenment for you but whatever you do,  just keep up that studly post season hitting. Think Zen & the Art of Smashing a Baseball.  But know this my friend, Kate Hudson would not hook up with Chris London if we met via an introduction at the Tibet House,  the Dalai Lama were my best friend and I regularly broke bread with Uma Thurman and Richard Gere and had endorsements from Mother Theresa and Ghandi himself.  Capische? Despite whatever feelings of emptiness you may have inside, know that you are somebody special with unique talents, and we all want you to be secure in that fact, at least until after you help deliver New York another World Series title.

So here is MY ADVICE TO A-ROD:  Bro, keep your shirt on, you (a) have a $300 million Contract (b) are objectively very good looking (c) play for the greatest team in Baseball history, the New York Yankees (d) play in the media capital of the world,  New York City (e) are  currently perhaps the best player in Baseball and (f) chics basically dig you—-so, just tell em that you are “SPIRITUAL” & “Swing a BIG Stick”—trust me, you will still get laid.  They might even still like you, a bit more  if you disagree with them. You do not need  to join a fringe cult or change your beliefs in order to be accepted. Trust me, I know and learned this the hard way. Your need to please and be accepted is ridiculous. Get over it.  Derek Jeter seems to be doing just fine and I have no idea what church he goes to or if he even gets out of bed to do anything but workout, report to Yankee Stadium or take a shower after making love to his girlfriend Minka Kelly or whatever lady he happens to be with at the time. Win one World Series and watch what happens in this town. End the spiritual crisis of New York baseball fans, they will forget about your steroid use and you will be received as the second coming of Babe Ruth.

No More Drama – Mary J. Blige

So tired, tired of these drama
No more, no more
I wanna be free
Im so tired, so tired

Broken heart again
Another lesson learn
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burn
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That Ill be fine

No more pain (no more pain)
No more pain (no more pain)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
Noones gonna make me hurt again

The New York Women’s Foundation® (NYWF®) was established in 1987 as a public philanthropy to be a voice for women and a force for change. NYWF is a cross-cultural alliance of women helping low-income women and girls in the five boroughs to achieve sustained economic security through expanded opportunities. NYWF work together to transform the conditions of poverty and to create an equal and just future for low-income women and girls. This is something you can learn by visiting the NYWF website.  On Wednesday, October 14, 2009, I covered The New York Women’s Foundation Fall Dinner: “Step Out and Step Up” at Gotham Hall, which honored Elizabeth Sturz and Herb Sturz and Sheryl WuDunn and Nicholas D. Kristof, and featured a special performance by artist Mary J. Blige.  What I mean by star-studded is that in one venue on this special night, the city’s leading leadings of philanthropy and community service gathered in the heart of the Big Apple, Gotham City in uncertain if not unstable economic times, to support NYWF which is doing some of the most critical work of our time. The evenings co-chairs were Hyatt Bass, Sayu V. Bhojwani, Aiyoung Choi, Susan R. Cullman, Grace Hightower De Niro, Somers Farkas,Carolyn Buck Luce, Margaret Munzer Loeb, Jean Shafiroff, Diana L. Taylor, Jacqueline P. Togut, Barbara Brizzi Wynne. The evening’s attendees included Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who arrived to support his girlfriend and co-chair of the event, Diana L. Taylor, designer Catherine Malandrino, record executive Steve Stoute, and New York socialites, Muffie Potter Aston, Daphna Kastner, Ann Rapp, Sharon Bush, Denise Rich, Somers and Jonathan Farkas, Debbie Bancroft, Katlean De Monchy, Susan R. Cullman, Agnes Gund, Dorothy Lichtenstein and Jean Shafiroff, who co-chaired the night’s festivities at Gotham Hall.

I even got to run into friend, Celebrity blogger Tia Walker who herself gets invited to cover some of the biggest celebrity events in New York, Miami, Vegas and L.A..  Tia Walker gave me a knowing glance that we were in the most important place to be in New York City this night, while I shot next to a lady who’s becoming a force in her own right around town, the glamorous, sexy and polite, Amber DeVos who was  the foundation’s house photographer.

Some refer to these women, many of whom reside on the Upper East Side of Manhattan in lives of comfort and prosperity, as mere socialites, or the ladies who lunch. To dismiss them as such is foolhardy and illustrates an ignorance for how the wheels of philanthropy churn.  They are glamorous and well styled for sure, but underneath the glitz, the glam and the pomp and circumstance lies the soul of the city, the sexiest women in New York City of all ages, political and sociological perspectives and nationalities, who’s mission to support the critical causes of our time, wavers not in good times or bad. In an era where our society is focused on the random inane acts in celebrity culture, these women keep the New York social scene and its philanthropic spirit alive, well and buzzing from night to night. The event itself was meticulously designed by events wiz Inez Weinstein, who is the quiet, deliberate and thoughtful event planner of important New York Society events.  To know New York is to know who and why what these ladies do matters. Elizabeth and Herbert Sturz who founded 24 nonprofit agencies and organizations between them, saluted the Foundation for their work in supporting women.  Journalist Sheryl WuDunn emphasized the significance of investing in women and girls locally as a prerequisite to investing globally, while her counterpart, Nicholas Kristof who could not be present, gracefully accepted the honor in a taped message played for a captive audience that clapped loudly when he commended NYWF for holding up ‘two third of the sky’.  But the most memorable part of the evening was when Mary J. Blige hit the stage and literally knocked it out of the park with her performance of No More Drama, a truly emotional anthem of female empowerment and personal responsibility, and the triumphant spirit that evolves from pain and suffering.  Mary J. Blige has had her own well publicized trials and tribulations and her songs are clearly from the heart.  When I was invited to cover this event by the office of Norah Lawlor, it was my hope that Ms. Blige would sing this song. God knows that if more folks continue to step up in a similar manner to support the NYWF, there will be many young women who will have “No More Drama” in their lives.