London in New York

The obsession of the media, television as well as print and radio, with the every day people of late seems a bit out of control. It seems like everyone and then some are getting their 15 minutes of fame, either through a “Reality TV” dating program or an expose on a dating service. Ironically enough, while initially it only seemed that Hollywood retreads would subject themselves to it, now all of a sudden after denying access every star now wants you to see their �real life.�? Why? Very simple, there is even a greater fascination with the lives of real people who are also clamoring for the spotlight, at a far lower cost. The fact is that many would rather watch Joe Millionaire, Evan Marriott who does not command a salary or wage in the realm of any real actor or personality than they would the �Bling Bling� of Sean P Diddy Combs. Production costs are low and profits are high. Plus the media have figured out that what people want most is to have their voyeuristic appetites fed. While it may be cool to watch your favorite movie stars, it�s far more juicy to see your next door neighbor, ex girlfriend or boyfriend on TV making a fool of themselves. Next up�.it could be you.

The ultimate irony with �Reality TV” programming, however, is that more often than not it is simply NOT real; individuals are willing to act or play a part that they have essentially been cast for. After all it still must appeal to audiences and advertisers must see a point in buying air time. While reality culture is good economics for the entertainment industry and perhaps even entertaining, the lives of most people are not Jerry Springer shows and the attempt to turn them into such events defeats the whole purpose of �reality programming.� Who are we kidding?

This is just one mans observation who got behind the scenes and watched fictional scripted 8 Minute Dating Events, casting for reality TV shows, served as a reference and commentator in the New York Magazine Cover Story, “The Casual Sex Revolution”, and was himself the subject of an article in New York Magazine entitled the �Pickup Artist� and labeled as somewhat of a �conundrum�— “a pickup artist with the heart of a woman, a sensitive guy who can turn on a dime, an anti-materialist who woos by sending [gifts]. Beneath all his warmth, he seems to have a bitter core, as though his years of playerly ways have made him lose respect for any woman who would have him. It�s obvious he wants love, but I know from firsthand experience that it�s hard to find love when you�re busy hitting on everyone in the room.”

I read her �Female Trouble� Column regularly in the 90�s many times over late night eats at The Viand Diner on 86th street or the Corner Bistro if I happened to be out downtown. Prior to becoming a noted novelist, author and weekly columnist for New York Magazine, Amy Sohn�s Female Trouble column first appeared in New York Press, the newer and edgier version of the weekly newspaper which had a fresher more unique voice than the Voice. Amy�s column served as a good compliment to the New York Post Sports section and Page 6 at 3 a.m. over Eggs and coffee.

Her Female Trouble column was essentially voyeurism into one woman�s journey, sexual and otherwise leading to female adulthood. Amy was honest, bluntly so and refreshingly glib. Her soul was out there for all to see. She spoke to us all like we were her special girl friend or confidant. On more than one occasion, I found myself wondering whether the vulnerable but seductive little tigress was hot looking and what it would be like to be her �Novel Lover�, or at least one of the guys that she encountered on her journey.

Recently over cocktails at the Tribeca Grand, I finally had that opportunity. Out of the blue I received an email and then a phone call from Amy Sohn which ultimately led to our agreement to meet. Amy had informed that she potentially wanted me to be the subject of a piece that she was writing about how some of the more �average� vs. Joe Millionaire men were faring in the dating scene in Manhattan these days and how some guys who seemingly did not �have it all� somehow managed to get more than their fair share of �play.� Was I walking into a trap?

She seemed perplexed and intrigued why a man like me apparently fared so well with the opposite sex. Why did I have so many female friends and lovers? What was my secret? After all, I was attractive, but certainly no movie star, and intelligent but certainly no Einstein nor a multimillionaire (sorry ladies, that�s the truth). I am surprised she did not ask for a measurement of my “Johnson” to give her further insight (no its not that big). In fact, in her piece entitled “The Pickup Artist”, I was referred to physically as a slightly less attractive
Anthony LaPaglia. I did not know whether to be flattered or insulted by that characterization. But then I realized, Anthony La Paglia is a pretty damn good actor. He has a certain unforgetable intensity, passion and sensitivity, with a dark edge. He is typically not the main character or star attraction (but more like the Paisan Kevin Bacon) who’s name usually escapes everyone but you remember having seen him. I can relate to that. Anyway, I was intrigued by Amy’s style, intellect and manner of inquiry. Maybe I was empathetic to the angst she exhibited in her columns of her enthusiastic pursuit of love, life and experience but often only getting sex or less permanent liaisons. But like me..she still had fun and lived in the moment. Maybe I have had a certain degree of Male Trouble similar to her “Female Trouble.” Maybe I identified with that aspect, a lot of play leading no where ultimately.

I genuinely just liked Amy. I wanted to assist in her quest to write an accurate and truthful piece about one mans experiences in NYC. After all I am a true Scorpio and somewhat of a frustrated creative type myself. Scorpios are known for being persistent, loyal, consumed with uncovering the truth and to a degree led by their libido or their �lower half.� Nevertheless, I consider myself highly evolved and possessing a strong will and constitution. My life�s passion is to connect and inspire others to achieve greatness in every aspect of their lives. At times, I will be the first to admit that I have a primal passion for life and that my sexuality is a deep, all-consuming and intense part of that.

The Pickup Artist was a more titillating and humorous account of my personal experience through the eyes of one writer. In fact, I enjoyed reading it and she was liberated to take artistic license by creating a fictional persona, identifying me as “Tad Brock.” To me the name sounds very “Boogie Nights” or like a Gay Porn Star. Speaking for “Tad Brock”, I can honestly say for the record that:

Whatever �success� that I have had has less to do with trying to hit on every woman in a room and more to do with the fact that I focus first and foremost in approaching people, engaging them in a dialogue and finding out what they are about rather than “working” them over in some insincere fashion. Its simply misguided to even infer that my style is similar to these clowns who wrote a book entitled �Make Every Women Want You� which outlined their “CCR� principles.

The only thing more lame and disingenuous than writing such a book is having the need to read such a book. In this arena, I do not need the unprincipled frat boy guidance of a couple of simpletons who created a thesis or book of rules on how to stealthly manipulate the opposite sex in order to get laid. Just one mans view but if you need Dr. Phil (or Oprah in Drag)
John Gray or the lame dudes who wrote this book to help you relate to the opposite sex, just start over and crawl back into the hole from which you came. These clowns with their “CCR� mantra claim as if they have hit on some magical formula. Hey man, plain and simple, it�s called converse, connect, be real and stop viewing every woman as a piece of ass. Try talking to people rather than at them.

Because I genuinely like people, I actually seek to connect with them first on some meaningful ground. In fact, I have often taken my contacts and introduced them to other people for business, life, friendship and love; essentially as effective a matchmaker as any Yenta without the massive overhead which is why I make so many friends as well. It does not hur to be in my network. While I am not always truly altruistic, I simply love women. I have no double standards and in some respects that makes me a feminist. The only anger or resentment that I have towards women is not directed towards womankind (or truly independent women like Amy Sohn or Elizabeth Wurtzel) but rather the “Vapid Princess Social Set in Manhattan” that views men as an extension of their wallets or walking ATM machines.

On top of that what is notable about the column is that one of my ex girlfriends who was interviewed for the piece lampooned my generosity as self serving and annoying but necessary because I am so “desperate for love.” Bitch, spare me. How convenient, the same ungreatful women who make such remarks gladly accepted all these forms of generosity, including one girl I shall label SPANKY THE ROLEX QUEEN, a petite brunette NYC Investment Banker resembling Betty Boop who essentially barters and negotiates her love, passion and commitment with her fetish for watches and fancy vacations, while offering little in return other than a firm round bottom which she likes to have spanked regularly (for being such a “naughty girl”) and excellent oral skills. This girls is an Engima but basically a prostitute of a different stripe; completely submissive sexually and utterly manipulative socially. Escort Services are cheaper and there is more integrity associated with the transactions. After the end of an undefineable but nevertheless psychologically twisted involvement with “Spanky”, a couple of years later we reacquainted as friends. I consoled her through her impending divorce and other life problems. After allowing her access in to my life a second time, I watched her use the same barter system with her estranged husband in an attempt to emasculate him while simultaneously pursuing opportunities to get spanked on Match.com as well as with several friends of mine that she dated or played with her. All the while she professed her secret devotion to me repeatedly informing me that she was so much more attractive, intelligent and succesful than my present girlfriend. While dating my friend and simulataneously working on a strategic reconciliation with her husband “just in case” the single thing did not work out with my friend or the people she was meeting online, Spanky offered me oral sex in her apartment as a “Christmas Gift.” Her expressed interest in my friend was because a) unlike her husband he was NOT jewish (and she did not want to get involved with any more “Jews”) and b) my friend was a “Power Broker” who could take care of her in the style that she had becomed accustomed to as an Investment Banker. She delayed the divorce proceedings with her husband because she knew he was due to inherit several million dollars and if she divorced him prematurely and nothing materialized with anyone else, she would be out a husband and some significant cash. I was also further subjected to a conspiracy between her and her female friend to undermine my relationship with my then current girlfriend/princess. I became so disgusted with her and remember asking her if she had a soul and whether her materialism out weighed her racism. When I was left with no choice but to tell my friend of her agenda, her response was incredulous disbelief and the assertion that she was never really interested in me to begin with because I was not enough of a “Power Broker” like he was. You think I would have learned my lesson? The irony is that this “Sociopath” goes to church on Sundays and considers herself a good catholic rather than just another simplistic hypocritical golddigger. Reality is sometimes stranger and more frightening than fiction. I wish I could say I made this up but it is just the truth.

So you tell me if after a couple of experiences like that there is anything wrong with the fact that I want to make sure to steer clear of those with a Princess entitlement complex. That does not make me anti-female nor does it make me bitter, or less generous it makes me a strategic pragmatist who has learned his lesson. I can understand that Amy�s motives were sound and she had no ill intent, so perhaps to her I was a �conundrum.� Maybe because Amy�s experiences with men have been less than ideal, she projected a degree of cynicism for men in general on me? Reality is but ones perspective of it. But the long and the short of it I cannot deny that her perspective is entirely inaccurate or without merit. Her portrayal much like an artists portrait may not look exactly like me but there is enough of a resemblance that you have to give some due to the artist for her portrayal. And yes Amy Sohn is hot in a artsy, intellectual, confidant way.

Despite being on the brink of World War in the midst of a stagnant, modern era depression like economy, my friendship with Mr. Grey Goose intact, my email box continues to get flooded with more and more Valentines invites to various �veal� or �cheese fests� around the city. While the metaphors may seem appropriate, I am not much a fan of Veal, I much prefer a Rare Juicy Steak at the Palm (preferably Palm Two or in East Hampton), and despite what ATKINS says, I am not big on cheese either. With all that is going in the world today, I am feeling more spiritually inclined, and sense that others are seeking a more real sense of connectedness. All other things being the same, I just want to go where someone knows my name and is always glad I came��.so that I can flirt with someone who does not yet know my name!! (Cheers vs. About Last Night). As Joey would say, �how you doing!�
While I would love to do nothing more this week than Party 4 Charity or even get my juices flowing with Mama Gena & the magnificent courtesans, I think I will just yank my friend Tara out of her cubicle and join my friend Alisha on Thursday Night at Chetty Red for the Two of Hearts Party. Mention London Network at the door. We are bringing together various elements of our social and professional circles in a relaxed environment to see if we can warm and perhaps even join some hearts. You may not see Cass or �see the flash� for that matter�but you may in fact end up on someone�s web site. David Shapiro and his weekly cocktail culture will be added to the mix. Assuming I recover on Friday in due course, I intend on trying to Get off�..line to see Gemini & Scorpio at Remote Lounge. After an evening with these goddesses if I have any energy left perhaps I can Incubate a bit and Come get FLOinc on Saturday with Beth at LEA. Assuming that I get reenergized by the company of goddesses of varying degrees and perspective over the course of several days, I intend to take myself even less seriously and join the Jesters Guild at PJ�s @ Sugar on Sunday night. “Sugar, ahh honey honey, you are my candy girl and you got me wanting you” I suggest that you do the same�.if you want to be where someone knows your name and where someone else�may like to know your name. Cheers. If you so desire not to join us there are more Club oriented scenes available this week that you can find on Flavor Pill 212.net Show Club Planet RSVP NYC NYC Social Joonbug. If you are looking to spend some time with “Women Who Rock” check out BLONDESTREAK

P.S. Desperately seeking cute blonde seated towards back of the room near the back bar of the main room who I briefly caught eyes with last week at Chris Lukas �Aquarian Birthday Bash� @ The Havana Room @666 5th Ave.

It has become abundantly clear that love, sex and perhaps even romance now come with a price tag. As one of my friends stated, Chris, if you think about it, you either Pay $1.99 per minute (actually more like $3.99 per, for fetish stuff), $500 per hour or more like $1,000 ( actually for 4 star quality women) or by the lifetime sentence (with any random spoiled Princess you can meet in Manhattan). That does not include investments in 8 Minute Dating, Cosmo Party, Nerve.com, Drip Caf�, J Date, Match.com, It’s Just Lunch, tickets to multiple charity and networking events, stocking the home bar and nesting ground with top shelf alcohol & Godiva chocolates. On top of that some have even made the further investment of hiring their own personal Yenta, such as Janice Spindel, Samantha Daniels or Denise Winston. Although, I would be the first to tell you that an investment in the spiritual guidance of Mama Gena & her Courtesans is clearly a worthwhile investment, whether you are an aspring goddess or adonis looking to understand or attract your very own Alpha Female Goddess. Nevertheless, it is ever hard to notice that in down economy the quest to connect however intermittently is a thriving business.

There is unquestionably a transactional element to love, romance and sex in this town; money for orgasms with a different level of assistance and emotional involvement dependent upon what you offer in return. Sure, I, like many others had forsaken the phone sex, massages with happy endings and even escorts because due to inflation, the ones that one would most want to hire were costing a lot more these days. Yes ladies, men and in all likelihood your boyfriend, your husband etc…if he has a penis, has sampled some or all of the foregoing whether or not he ever intends on acknowledging it with you. In the words of Jack Nicholson…”You can’t handle the truth.” But frankly most men, could not handle the truth of your experiences either; yeah perhaps you did sort of fool around with your girlfriend or experiment with your personal trainer…and his buddy at the same time in between relationships. Sure it had nothing to do with sex..it was your need for affection not his great body and enormous phallus.

Nevertheless, with the stagnating economy�s impact on my livelihood, $1,000 per hour for pleasure at the hands of a sexy willing female sort of seemed financially irresponsible. It was also actually unnecessary. Not that I have become any Master of the Game, other than to note the ultimate irony in the mating game is that the less you try or desire to run into the Princes or Sex & the City Class of fems in this town, they are seemingly everywhere all over the lounge and charity circuit from Manhattan to the Hamptons. Admittedly, perhaps less so in the East Village and Williamsburg, but I digress.

But then it hit me the dates, dinners, wine, romance, travel, chivalrous gifts of jewlery and the like, haven’t I basically been paying for it all along? Is that too crass a way too look at it? If so, then essentially the freebee’s, the girls you hooked up with and took home from Jimmy�s Downtown, The W, Serena or other Midtown watering holes really are the true values in the market place. They offer the best bang for the buck…..literally. Had my romantic ideals made me inefficient in the love game? Like many in a soft economy with evaporating retirement and investment accounts I found myself suffering from that Italian disease �DeFundsALo� and wondered what those vacations, spa and pampering treatments, Champagne and 5 pound lobsters at The Palm and jewelry might have gotten me by the hour on NYExotics or ErosNY. Maybe I could have gotten a tall Nordic goddess at least for a few hours or smokey brunette dominatrix? If we as men are to be so objectified in crass financial terms, than perhaps many men will continue to explore other alternatives to the mating game or make investments based upon the level of commitment that they seek in return. That would certainly be a logical effect of “free market economics.”

In fact, that brings me to my point about whether there is actually a distinction between the “Love Brokers.” How is a matchmaker (a.k.a, a “Yenta”) any different than a madam in this town? What are they doing that Heidi Fleiss and Sydney Biddle Barrrows and other smaller time love brokers have been castigated for or even imprisoned. It would be unfair to focus the spotlight exclusively on the matchmakers of the Janice Spindel, Samantha Daniels & Denise Winston variety (the “Yenta Class” of love broker). What has also interestingly emerged is a middle ground of love brokers somewhere between the Yenta class and the Heidi Fleiss and Sydney Biddle Barrows class ( the “Madam Class”)of love brokering. Some of these services known as Prime Connections or VIP Life offer a full array of “Concierge” Services to the executive including the “Model” of his choice at whatever his destination and invitations to private gatherings where other similarly situated executives can meet the female counterparts or Models associated with the service. What do we call this hybrid class of service (Intermittent and semi permanent liasons) which seems to blur the line between Madams & Yentas? The Concierge Class or the Models for Wallets Class?

You see my dilemma is that these services evolved to meet existing needs in the market place. Without the need they do not exist. Rather than pass judgment or attempt to draw hairline distinctions between these services we should instead draw no distinction between one service vs. another because in essence they are all to varying degrees catering to and servicing the market for transactional romance. As one who is a lawyer and legal search professional or in more common parlance, a “Headhunter”, my business is a similar talent search but for jobs or firms. Thus, I do not condemn the concept of hiring someone as your agent to procure for you precisely what you desire. But tell me how and why we should draw distinctions between Yentas who cruise the city for fresh young attractive female meat to add to their data base to feed the hunger of a well heeled clientele of gentlemen willing to pay $25,000 per year for a Platinum service contract and those who serve as a Madam to their clientele for less “permanent” associations. What is being sold is a promise of beauty or variations thereof for variations of wealth & status. What is fraudulent is to label it as anything other than that. There are also several little known trade secrets that I have come to learn. There seems to be a very flexible standard as to whom is the paying client. More often than not the less eligible party finds themselves in the predicament that the service costs more for them. Secondly, far too many Yentas have a data base full of women who’s money they took for services that they can never render because there are not enough men or men who have paid for Platinum service contracts are not interested in the lower echelon members of their data base. Or as my female friend Lisa cracked, “why do I need to pay an unmarried Yenta Spinster $10,000 to help me meet a bunch of older balding men when I can meet them online or at J Date party for free.” It�s the economic evolution of transactional romance, the objectification of the opposite sex based upon money (men) and beauty (women). Investments are made based upon the relative level of commitment to the service and what is obtained in return. If all parties to the transaction understand that so be it. But if you can license yentas finding wannabe models and princesses their matching wallets in the form of a well healed gentlmen, then why harass the Madam or the guy who calls the Escort Service and orders in for his relative level of commitment. Furthermore why is there any difference between a high class escort who makes it very clear that her form of companionship has a price vs. the Manhattan Princess who does not quite make clear that her form of companionship also has a price. Not a critique..but rather just an observation.

Coming Soon:
Feb 12th: My Friend Jackie Stone in Vagina Monoloques, UJA Fed. of NY
Scroll down to Jan. 30th entry for distinction between: “Busted Up Sex in The City Women vs. True Alpha Female Goddess Women”

As many of you know, on my journey of enlightenment and spiritual evolution, I have become somewhat of an expert of the dating scene in NYC, having sampled and studied every avenue to romance the opposite sex. Whether over triple espresso’s at Starbucks, the gourment isle at the market ( Fairway, Dean & DeLuca, Food Emporium, Gristedes, Balducci’s but unfortunately never got a date at Western Beef), charity events, matchmakers, cocktail parties, the gym, the laundry room, assorted watering holes from Tribeca to Midtown, East Village to the Upper East Side I have met a vast cross section of this cities women. I have met women online, offline, through friends, services and every where in between….and yes I am still single; reluctantly but happily so. Who knows…chances are that maybe I have even dated someone you know. Maybe thats not so good but at least you can get a reference. As the U2 song goes,”I still have not found what I am looking for.” Meeting women has never really been a problem but perhaps like many of you may realize…its not always easy to meet the right one, especially when your parameters, objectives and and desires shift. Somewhere between my world and Cassworld…is the real world.

I have endorsed in my London Network Newsletters the Speeddating concept as an efficient mechanism to meet women, network and have a few cocktails. Speeddating was founded & created by AISH an international Jewish educational network, which still owns the service mark SpeedDating, and has no affiliation with the new McDonald’s of the speeddating concept, 8 Minute Dating. The practice however was disbanded by Rabbi’s in NYC who felt that it did not reflect the best elements of a spiritual culture to nurture introductions in a cocktail lounge. Despite much of the positive press that 8 Minute Dating has received. Recently, I witnessed first hand the cold, heartless & cruel side of the dating business which has given me insight into as well as major reservations about the underlying character and the perceived ethics of their Management Team. This is largely due to certain observations made when I got behind the scenes and had an opportunity to witness first hand a business which is fraught with all of the insecurity, anxiety, jockeying, maneuvering and political backstabbing that one associates with a bad marriage & divorce. Earlier this week I learned, but was actually not surprised based upon what I had observed the prior week, to hear of the cold calculated & otherwise impersonal termination of the Networking Girl who was released from her contract via email along with a veiled threat to preclude her from working in the dating world.

Ms. Marashio and the powerful marketing force thats she had created both online and offline as the Networking Girl was able to bring to bear strong allegiances with media, venue owners as well as significant cross marketing efforts across the social/professional spectrum in NYC prior to her alliance with 8 Minute Dating which she built into a mini dating empire in NYC, the largest media market in the country. Unfortunately, the reward that the relentless, quirky but determined Networking Girl received after she spent nearly a year and one-half building their brand name and recognition in New York City and otherwise gave her soul to building the companys presence in NYC was termination. Further, on their recent courtship of the media in Manhattan, I got to witness first hand how Chris Marashio was cast aside. Instead 8 Minute Dating events became staged media events with ringers, siblings, friends, hand picked attendees, including actors and actress wannabee’s to convey a more prescribed but less real image. In fact, I was one of those people that they hand picked. I am not sure if this is not on some level “fraudulent.”

While it certainly is an organizations right and perogative to alter its business plan, personel, hire and fire, renegotiate contracts, this is not the send off that someone who had been one of their most productive Event Organizers in the country and who was otherwise so unquestionably instrumental & critical to success of 8 Minute Dating in New York City. But clearly for whatever reasons Chris Marashio’s loyalty, integrity and commitment were not the “face” that the 8 Minute Dating Management Team wanted associated with their events on a going forward basis. Without her Hurry Date, Cosmo Party or some other organization would in all likelihood be the market leader.

When you see things like this happen, it really makes you cynical and reluctant to recommend to others to patronize and organization headed by someone like Tom Jaffe who illustrated questionable character, integrity and judgment, devoid of any spiritual sense of fair play and consideration. That is neither exemplary “mensch” like behavior or indicative of “good kharma.” I certainly do not think that a Rabbi would have handled things in this manner. Perhaps they could use the oversite of a Rabbi or a Mensch lest the romance business lose its sense of love, honor, loyalty and commitment to reward those appropriately who help build an organization. Otherwise like love and marriage what is it but built on a house of cards is doomed to fail. Send comments to me at GoyishaMenschNY@aol.com

No sooner had I gotten off the phone with my ex girlfriend, did I ask myself �why couldn�t I meet someone with her intelligence, wit and sex appeal?� It�s then that I realized, I already had and that chapter was now closed. How could I forget that our emotional battles which were more like �Gangs of New York� than the �Age of Innocence,� had left me calling my doctor for a prescription for Paxil as well as Viagra. Stripped of the burden of failed expectations and intimacy, we now have a platonic friendship which is far less stressful. Any anger or resentment that I once held for her as a result of my broken heart has since dissipated into a dispassionate, semi-intellectual association. Even her musings about a desire to settle down with the right guy do not slice or wound my ego but instead have got me thinking who I could introduce her to, since she is such a �catch.�

You would have to be Amish (not there is anything wrong with that) or a cavemen not to notice that there seems to be an ever growing list of services to help us access the inventory of singles in society. After a spirited discussion regarding the relative value and credibility of these services, we both agreed, given the options at our disposal these days, why commit? The need to do so becomes eviscerated when services exist which offer the illusive possibility that you can order a mate via an itemized menu of characteristics from height, weight, income, career and social status, ethnic character and other social and tangible skill sets and attributes. Has romantic love truly become something that we can shop for and procure dependent upon our ability to access that person with the perfect list of attributes? The multitude of options has created a pervasive transactional mercenary like mindset on the dating scene. Despite the endless array of options that these services have made available to facilitate access to the inventory of singles in our society, ironically enough the Manhattans Singles class continues to grow. In fact, an all to often complaint overheard is that women still can�t meet the right guy. As a friend Shari recently told me of her experiences on J Date, �Chris last week I must have profiled at least 100 guys, met approximately one dozen but none were for me and then I went to an 8 Minute Dating event and did not match with one person.� Thats when I suggested that she try DRIP CAFE, it apparently being one of the only services thats she has not yet tried which actually has arranged 134 marriages to its credit. Obviously the technological revolution while it has provided more options to access the inventory of singles does not necessarily result in a �hit� if you do not find someone with �ALL� of your enumerated criteria. Perhaps many men and women will continue to harbor unrealistic expectations and thereby resist and forsake the allure of marriage and commitment in perpetual quest of the BBD (The �Bigger Better Deal�).

These services have succeeded and will likely continue to thrive because they feed an insatiable consumerist appetite for “options” and they align themselves with the growing “Cocktail Culture.” The freedom to pursue your dreams is core value of our society. After our need for food, water and shelter, the urge to pair bond is a strong biological need but the need to “commit” is not. Do not think that the founders of these services care much about whether you find true love. That is NOT their mission. Their business model is predicated on getting you hooked on bouts of intermittent pair bonding experiences so that you perpetually return for more. Perhaps this is too much of an indictment of our culture or the businesses that have evolved to feed these desires.